Episode 296 Why Intentions Matter and Our Behaviors are Judged
When you are judging people do you judge them by their intentions or their behaviors? You don't judge people? Are you sure?
In my experience in working with thousands of leaders, everyone is judging almost all the time. Unless you have raised your EiQ lid and developed the ability to give people a chance before you judge them you are almost always judging others.
Me too, by the way. I work extremely hard to not judge others but the reality is, that I have agendas, and goals, and biases and it is sometimes difficult to not allow those to interfere with great communication with others.
But my original question was do you judge people's intentions or their behaviors? Most judge behaviors. Why? Because we don't know people's intentions until they explain them and usually the explanation has come after the behavior we have already judged.
Typically when we judge we then create communication challenges. You can't know people's intentions until you ask or they explain. I challenge you before you judge, seek to understand. Ask the other party for clarification of their intentions. Then evaluate if their behaviors match those intentions.
There is no greater skill in life than the skill to communicate effectively with others.
The real problem is when most people think it has occurred, it hasn't.
As you go through your week slow down and seek understanding. If you are the communicator, slowing down can create clarity. Share your intentions before you act. Proactively remove others' judgment of your behaviors by explaining upfront what you intend to create with your behavior.
And remember people do not judge us by our intentions, they judge us by our behavior. Especially if we have left them guessing.